Conquering our Demons

Conquering our Demons

Conquering our Demons - When you will go out to war on your enemies!

We have many kinds of enemies and some of them live right inside ourselves! That's right, ever heard of the saying, you are your own worst enemy or self sabotage, well most of us are guilty of this, some more than others but Michael Drayton quotes Sigmund Freud speaking about the self saboteur, that part inside us that is scared and wants to stop us from taking those steps towards our goals because we are entering the unknown so it tries to hold us back or for other self preservation fears. 

Comes along the Torah in this weeks portion of Ki Tzetze to say that one must go out against their enemies, it's not a question of if but when. When you will go out against your enemies. 

One way I have found that can really help is by having a coaching buddie. We set up this program for Chabad Rabbis across the globe called Knei Lecha Chaver. Words from the Mishneh written some 2000 years ago that says acquire for yourself a friend. Find a friend who you can work with and create a process where you take turns coaching each other. 

Ultimately, coaching is about asking questions and helping the coachee hear the question and articulate their answers. As they are formulating their response their mind is creating the solution to their very own problem but sometimes it takes someone else asking the question for the response to be expressed instead of staying as untapped potential in the problem seeker's own brain. 

It's crazy how this works but it does and the proof is, if you have a problem that you find hard to answer but then your friend comes and tells you of the exact same problem in their life, you will most likely come up with a solution because your brain goes into problem solving mode instead of self pity or despair mode which is why it's so important to stay positive and optimistic so changing into that mindset of problem solving is much easier when in a positive mood. Jordan Peterson in his 12 rules for life says look after yourself like you were looking after someone else. Perhaps this is the reason why. We seem to have all the answers for everyone else except ourselves because we are already telling ourselves that these solutions won't work in our particular circumstances because of xyz.. For someone else our self saboteur is not as triggered though it can come up then as well.

So try it. Find someone to pair up with and try it out. In week one, you be the coach and they become the coachee, you do the question asking and they give the answers and the following week you reverse the rolls and you become the coachee and they the coach. This way you provide each other with value and you are both invested in each other.

The trick is to be curious and consistent and not let the saboteur stop your momentum.

Also, be respectful and confidential - agree between yourselves that whatever is shared between you stays between you. 

Best of luck and let me know how it goes.

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About the author:

Elimelech Levy is a Rabbi and Coach in Sydney Australia where he runs Chabad Youth NSW, an organisation that's focused on Providing Jewish enrichment that's educational, fun, social ​& affordable. Elimelech received his MBA from Macquarie University in 2021 then chose to use his studies and experience to become a Results Coach and member of the International Coaching Federation (ICF)  helping people take control of their lives through establishing goals and working towards them. In 2023, Elimelech established the Knei Lecha Chover program focused on matching Rabbis around the world and providing foundational tools for them to coach each other regularly avoiding significant fees needed for professional coaching sessions.

Elimelech can be reached via his website elilevy.com.au