Your Life Is Built One Choice at a Time
Every one of us likes to imagine that our lives will be defined by a few big moments. Choosing a career. Getting married. Buying a home. Starting a business. We think these major decisions determine our future. Yet Parshas Re'eh begins with a very different perspective: "See, I place before you today a blessing and a curse." Not once in a lifetime. Today. Every day presents another choice. Another opportunity to move slightly closer to the person we hope to become, or slightly further away. The reality is that our future is rarely determined by one dramatic decision. It is usually built through thousands of ordinary choices that seem almost insignificant at the time.
This creates one of life's greatest contradictions. Most of us have a clear picture of the person we would like to be. We want to be healthy, yet we regularly choose convenience over exercise and comfort over discipline. We say family comes first, yet work consumes our attention, and when we finally spend time together we are distracted, impatient or exhausted. We want deeper relationships, but we spend more time looking at our phones than looking people in the eyes. We want financial security, yet we buy things we don't really need. We want peace of mind, yet we fill every quiet moment with noise. There is often a surprising gap between what we say matters most and what our daily choices suggest actually matters. That gap is worth paying attention to.
Why does it happen? Sometimes we are trying to live up to an image of who we think we should be. Society applauds certain goals. Friends admire certain lifestyles. Social media rewards appearances. We slowly begin chasing a version of success that was never truly ours. Other times our long-term goals simply lose the battle against immediate comfort. The healthy body we hope to have one day cannot compete with the pleasure of dessert tonight. The peaceful relationship we want next year struggles against the temptation to win today's argument. The meaningful future we dream about is quietly exchanged for whatever feels easiest in the present.
Behavioural psychologists call this present bias. The rewards we can experience immediately often feel far more powerful than benefits that will only appear months or years from now. The Torah recognised this long before modern psychology. Re'eh reminds us that blessing and curse are placed before us "today". Not because today's decision is everything, but because today's decision is the only one we actually control. Our habits become our character, and our character shapes our future.
The blessing and the curse are not simply rewards and punishments waiting at the end of the journey. They begin with the choices themselves. Every decision either brings us a little closer to the person Hashem created us to be, or a little further away. In that sense, the blessing is found not only in the destination, but in the direction we choose each day.
If we want to understand what we truly value, perhaps we should spend less time listening to what we say and more time observing what we repeatedly choose. That can be confronting, but it can also be liberating. Because if our lives have been built one choice at a time, they can also be rebuilt one choice at a time. You do not need to reinvent yourself overnight. You simply need to make today's choice slightly more consistent with the person you genuinely want to become. The next healthy meal. The next conversation with your spouse. The next hour spent fully present with your children. The next decision to be generous rather than selfish, patient rather than reactive, grateful rather than resentful.
There is another important lesson here. We often judge ourselves by our intentions, while the world experiences us through our actions. We tell ourselves, "I meant to call my parents. I meant to spend more time with the children. I meant to exercise. I meant to learn more. I meant to give more." Good intentions are important, but they do not build a life. Choices do. If our actions consistently fail to reflect our deepest values, then perhaps it is time to stop asking, "What do I want?" and start asking, "What am I choosing?" The answer to that question is often far more honest.
No single choice will transform your life, but thousands of them will. Perhaps that is why the Torah begins with the word Re'eh, "See." Before we can change our choices, we first have to see them honestly. Not the story we tell ourselves. Not the image we present to others. But the life our everyday decisions are quietly creating.
Because in the end, your future is not built by what you intend. It is built by what you choose. And today's choices are already writing tomorrow's story.
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About the author: Elimelech Levy is a Rabbi, educator, and coach based in Sydney, Australia. He is the director of Chabad Youth NSW, where he develops programs that support Jewish identity, confidence, and community connection for young people and families.
Alongside his communal work, Elimelech holds an MBA from Macquarie University and is a member of the International Coaching Federation. His coaching focuses on helping individuals gain clarity, set meaningful goals, and take consistent action.
He is also the founder of the Knei Lecha Chover initiative, a global peer coaching network for rabbis, and is involved in property development projects that reflect his broader interest in building sustainable communities.
More at elilevy.com.au
