Building Guardrails for the New Me

In this week’s parsha, Ki Seitzei, the Torah tells us: “When you build a new house, you shall make a guardrail for your roof” (Devarim 22:8)

On the surface, it’s a simple law of safety. In those days, people spent time on their flat rooftops, and a guardrail prevented accidents. But like so many mitzvos, the Torah is also speaking to us on a deeper, personal level.

As we move through the month of Elul, preparing for the Jewish New Year, many of us are thinking of building a “new house” — a new version of ourselves. We’re making resolutions: to grow, to be more present with our families, to learn more, to live more healthily, to be more thoughtful in our actions.

But resolutions on their own are fragile. Good intentions without structure can easily collapse. That’s where the mitzvah of the guardrail comes in. The Torah is teaching: don’t just build something new — protect it.

Guardrails in personal growth are the systems, habits, and boundaries that keep us from falling.

• If you want to learn more Torah, set a fixed time with a study partner.

• If you want to be more present with your family, make “phone-free dinner” a non-negotiable.

• If you want to exercise, put your gym sessions in the calendar before the week begins.

The guardrail is not the goal itself, but it protects the goal from being derailed. Without it, one slip can undo all the effort. With it, your “new house” stands strong.

Elul is the time for building. Rosh Hashanah is just weeks away, the day we step into the next chapter of our lives.

The question is not just: Who do I want to be this year? but also: What guardrails am I putting in place so that I stay true to that vision?

This week, take one resolution you’ve been thinking about for the New Year. Then ask yourself:

• What’s the guardrail I can build around it?

• How can I make it harder to fail, and easier to succeed?

Because sometimes we forget: building the “new me” is wonderful. But it’s the fences we build around that “new me” that will keep it standing strong when life inevitably tests us.

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About the author:

Elimelech Levy is a Rabbi and Coach in Sydney Australia where he runs Chabad Youth NSW, A youth organisation that's focused on providing Jewish enrichment that's educational, fun, social ​& affordable. Elimelech received his MBA from Macquarie University in 2021 then chose to use his studies and experience to become a Results Coach and member of the International Coaching Federation (ICF)  helping people take control of their lives through establishing goals and working towards them. In 2023, Elimelech established the Knei Lecha Chover program focused on matching pairs of Rabbis around the world and providing foundational tools for them to coach each other regularly, helping them to avoid significant fees needed for professional coaching sessions.

Elimelech can be reached via his website elilevy.com.au 

True leadership is service, not status

Parshat Shoftim

When we think of kings or CEOs, we picture privilege: palaces, power, people waiting on them. And yes, in Judaism too, a king carries great honor. But the Torah makes one thing clear: the essence of kingship is not privilege but responsibility. The king must write his own Torah, carry it with him, and remember daily that he is accountable to something higher than himself. Leadership is not about the perks — it is about the burden.

In this week’s parsha, Shoftim, the Torah commands the Jewish people to appoint a king. But unlike the monarchies of the ancient world, the Torah’s vision of a king is radically different. He is not above the law. In fact, he is bound more tightly to it than anyone else. He must constantly remind himself that he serves the people and serves God.

The Torah sees the king as the ultimate public servant. His crown is not a symbol of entitlement but a reminder of responsibility.

It is striking that in Jewish history, the greatest leaders often resisted leadership.

• Moshe Rabbeinu argued at length that he was unfit.

• King David was overlooked even by his own family, content as a shepherd.

• Many prophets and sages carried their role with reluctance rather than ambition.

This is not a coincidence. Judaism teaches that true leadership is not about seeking the job but answering the call. Those who grasp for titles are often the least suited to carry the responsibility. Those who prefer to live quietly, serving God and community in humility, are often the ones best prepared to lead when needed.

Leadership today doesn’t necessarily mean ruling a nation. It might mean guiding your family, leading a team at work, mentoring a student, or even being the steady friend who others look to.

The question is: how do we view that leadership? Is it a platform for recognition? Or is it a responsibility to serve others?

The Torah reminds us that leadership is not about being “above” others. It is about being with them — listening, guiding, lifting, and carrying them when needed.

This week, take a moment to reflect:

• Where in my life have I been called to lead, formally or informally?

• Do I see that role as privilege, or as responsibility?

• What is one way I can lean into service rather than status?

Even small adjustments — listening more carefully, giving credit to others, taking on responsibility quietly — can shift our leadership from ego-driven to service-driven.

Parshat Shoftim reminds us that the Jewish model of leadership is not about glory or status. It is about humility, service, and accountability. The greatest leaders were those who never chased the role, but when the call came, they answered it.

And so the real measure of leadership — whether in a palace, a boardroom, or at the family table — is not the perks you receive but the responsibilities you embrace.

About the author:

Elimelech Levy is a Rabbi and Coach in Sydney Australia where he runs Chabad Youth NSW, A youth organisation that's focused on providing Jewish enrichment that's educational, fun, social ​& affordable. Elimelech received his MBA from Macquarie University in 2021 then chose to use his studies and experience to become a Results Coach and member of the International Coaching Federation (ICF)  helping people take control of their lives through establishing goals and working towards them. In 2023, Elimelech established the Knei Lecha Chover program focused on matching pairs of Rabbis around the world and providing foundational tools for them to coach each other regularly, helping them to avoid significant fees needed for professional coaching sessions.

Elimelech can be reached via his website elilevy.com.au 

My Brain Explosion: 10 Things I Learned the Hard Way

Parshas Re’eh – Life Is About Choices

Have you ever done something in a moment of frustration that you instantly regretted? I have. And mine ended up in the headlines.

A few years ago, under a mountain of stress, little sleep, juggling two jobs, an MBA, and my mother’s devastating illness, I lost it. Another driver took the parking spot I’d been waiting for. Tired and stretched beyond breaking, I snapped. I damaged his car.

Within minutes I realised how wrong it was. I came back, left my phone number on the windscreen, and owned up. But the damage was done — not just to the car, but to my reputation. The media called it a “brain explosion.” Articles spread. My family felt the shame. And just when I thought it was behind me, I discovered a professor in Oxford had used my story as a case study in his book.

For a long time I wanted to bury it, hide it, pretend it didn’t happen. But eventually I realised: the story isn’t going away. The only thing I can do is choose how to respond.

And that’s where this week’s Torah portion, Re’eh, speaks loudly to me. Moshe tells the Jewish people: “See, I set before you today a blessing and a curse.” Life is about choices. Sometimes we choose well, sometimes badly. But the real test is: what do you choose next?

What I Learned

Here are ten lessons I’ve taken from my “brain explosion.” Maybe they’ll help you too:

1. Pause before reacting. Even five seconds of breathing can change the outcome.

2. A small action can have huge consequences. What felt small in the moment became years of fallout.

3. Mistakes ripple outward. It wasn’t just me — my family and community felt it too.

4. The internet never forgets. But you can reclaim your voice and tell your own story.

5. Leadership doesn’t mean perfection. It means taking responsibility when you fall short.

6. Owning up matters. Leaving that note on the windscreen was a turning point.

7. People remember how you respond. Recovery can speak louder than failure.

8. Shame can be a teacher. Painful, but also a push to grow.

9. We all fail differently. Some in private, some in public. What matters is what you do next.

10. Teshuvah is real. Judaism reminds us: a mistake isn’t the end. Repair and return are always possible.

    
    

One of the things I love about the Torah is that it doesn’t hide the mistakes of its heroes. It tells us about Noach, Moshe, Dovid — not to excuse them, but to remind us they were real people. And to teach us that failure isn’t final. Greatness is found in how you get back up.

One of my motivations for becoming a coach is this very lesson. Too many people live on the edge, juggling too much, burning the candle at both ends, just one stress away from doing something they’ll regret. I know what that feels like. And I want to help people recognise the signs earlier, make better choices, and build resilience.

I wouldn’t have chosen this story for myself. But it’s mine. And if sharing it helps someone else pause before exploding, or find the courage to grow after a mistake, then maybe that’s a blessing hidden inside the curse. Because in the words of this week’s parsha: “See, I place before you today a blessing and a curse…” The choice is always ours.

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About the author:

Elimelech Levy is a Rabbi and Coach in Sydney Australia where he runs Chabad Youth NSW, A youth organisation that's focused on providing Jewish enrichment that's educational, fun, social ​& affordable. Elimelech received his MBA from Macquarie University in 2021 then chose to use his studies and experience to become a Results Coach and member of the International Coaching Federation (ICF)  helping people take control of their lives through establishing goals and working towards them. In 2023, Elimelech established the Knei Lecha Chover program focused on matching pairs of Rabbis around the world and providing foundational tools for them to coach each other regularly, helping them to avoid significant fees needed for professional coaching sessions.

Elimelech can be reached via his website elilevy.com.au